Of University Toilets and Adaptation

Source: http://blog.toiletpaperworld.com

Bathed in soft yellow light and boasting brand new toilets, the female restroom at the first floor of the University of the Philippines’ College of Mass Communication was a haven from the gray, footstep-stained restrooms at Palma Hall. Where could a girl find any other bathroom with the luxury of a full-length mirror and bidets for all three stalls? The doors to each cubicle were unlike any in old AS (Palma Hall for the non-UPians out there)—dark brown wood, misty glass at the center and shiny silver locks that looked like it was strong enough to last for decades. All that was missing were toilet paper rolls for the girls’ disposal, but you can’t have everything.

All 2008, I proudly told my high school friends, who were searching for the clean, quiet, and toilet-paper ready toilets of yesteryears, about CMC’s restroom.  It was the place where a girl can put her flower-printed bag on the floor without having to cringe at the thought of it getting dirty with who knows what. It was the place where a girl can check the state of her outfit in the full-length mirror late in the afternoon (“Is my back sweaty from walking on campus all day?” she would ask). It was the place where—all modesty aside—a girl could “do the number two” should the need arise.

But like most hidden treasures, others discovered the modern geometric interiors of CMC’s newly revamped restroom and exploited its beauty. It drew in many girls, some from other colleges, who wished to escape from the older buildings’ equally-old and sometimes non-functioning toilets. Even the girls at CMC forgot their college had two other restrooms on the first and second floors of the annex building. It was just so new, so untouched!

Now almost three years after its renovation, CMC’s once sleek toilets have changed. Gone are the bidets that made each stall so sosyal; they have been beheaded and rendered useless. Those strong silver locks were not so strong after all; they gave way in 2009 and were replaced by a hook and its holder and a run-of-the-mill sliding lock. Only the faculty stall has stayed intact, but it is barred from public use. The wooden doors are chipped and faded, making the misty windows look aged and dirty. The mirrors are water-stained; the floors, always mysteriously wet. And yes—still no toilet paper.

Maybe this is all part of the UP experience, a toughening test every student must go through before they enter the dreaded real world. It could be the university’s way of telling us: “Hey, not every place you’ll see in your lifetime will have the lavatory you want; so suck it up, squat and pee!”

Even girls have to rough it sometimes. And with some female Fighting Maroons veering away from camping, UP’s rugged restrooms are all they have for training. It is like camping if you look at it closely: a girl has to “hike” to the nearest restroom, maneuver her way through obstacles—in this case, lines of girls fighting for the cleanest stalls—and “set up camp” without “soiling the environment” as a courtesy to the next “campers.”

Maybe the state of UP’s toilets is the work of a higher being. It is his or her way of teaching us mortals to appreciate what luxuries we do have in our lives. Who doesn’t sigh with relief at the sight of the familiar clean toilet of home? No. Really.

Or maybe I’m just over-thinking this thing, trying to look for a deeper meaning behind the desperate state of a necessary part of any institution’s sanitation. Who knows?

If there is anything I learned two years since the renovation of CMC’s female restroom, and after five semesters at UP, it is that life requires adaptation. UP’s dirty bathrooms are a part of the whole UP package known for turning even the most docile student into a battle-ready warrior, ready to change if needed.

So I’ll take what I can get in this university, dirty bathrooms and all. At least we actually have a place to pee in. Now if you’ll excuse me: Nature calls. -30-

(This article was originally written for my J121: The Newsroom class under the late Professor Lourdes Estella-Simbulan, who died in a road accident last May 13. "UP toilets" was the first topic she made the class write about. My essay eventually made it into our class's newspaper the Yllanan Street Journal, our final project for Ma'am Simbulan.)

(CORRECTION: It was another of my essays, not this one, that made it to our class's newspaper the Yllanan Street Journal. I apologize for the mistake.)